8 Bad Habits in Marriage
Whether you've been married for three months or three years, or about to be married , this will help... Enjoy .....!!
By Katie Herrick (Psychologist)
>
>Bad Habit #1: Watching TV during dinner.
>Why it's bad: Having dinner together offers valuable face time with your
>partner. Turning on the tube competes for attention and cuts in on your
>time
>to catch up and connect after so many hours spent apart.
>How to stop: Set aside 30 to 45 minutes of one-on-one talk time with the TV
>off every night. This shows your spouse that when you're not at work,
>you're
>devoted to your home and family. During this time, ignore your phone and
>leave the Blackberry in another room. You'll feel closer within days.
>
>Bad Habit #2: Going too long without sex.
>Why it's bad: If the amount of sex you're used to having starts to slide,
>your body and brain can get used to the decreased intimacy, causing you to
>go even longer without wanting that closeness.
>How to stop: Don't wait until you feel like doing it. Initiate sex when
>you're open to doing it, rather than when you have the desire. This will
>jumpstart your feelings so you'll crave it more often.
>
>Bad Habit #3: Going a whole workday without talking to your sweetheart.
>Why it's bad: You'll start growing apart emotionally after subconsciously
>feeling like the other person doesn't think about you (and your needs)
>during the day.
>How to stop: Initiate daily contact by sending a quick "How's your day?"
>email. And make the effort to do something nice every day (pick up his fave
>dessert, call from the store to see if she needs something). It shows
>forethought and consideration for your partner's needs.
>
>Bad Habit #4: Tuning each other out.
>Why it's bad: You're disengaging from each other.
>How to stop: Make an effort to do small things such as kissing before
>saying
>goodbye, making eye contact when talking, complimenting each other
>frequently throughout the week. Does he not seem to hear you talking during
>certain times (ahem, when ESPN is on)? Don't try to make conversation while
>the TV is on. If it's important, press mute; otherwise, save conversations
>for dinner or your bedroom, where you're less likely to be interrupted.
>
>Bad Habit #5: Not fighting.
>Why it's bad: Disagreements are good in a marriage because you're
>expressing
>your individuality. Talking about issues when they first happen makes them
>easier to fix than if you wait until after they've festered.
>How to stop: Bring up what's on your mind in a way that shows your
>admiration and respect for each other's thoughts and feelings. Like, "It
>hurts my feelings when _________. I was hoping we could figure out a new
>way
>to handle the situation together." This will set the tone of the
>conversation as loving and calm, but you both have to compromise to keep it
>that way.
>
>Bad Habit #6: Going out more with friends than with your spouse.
>Why it's bad: Sends the message that your friends are more worthy of your
>time.
>How to stop: Schedule nights out with your crew a few times a month, but
>make sure to let your partner know in advance. It's important to have these
>friendships, just as long as they don't make your married time sparse. And
>it's always best that these friends are people your partner knows and
>trusts, so there's less reason to worry.
>
>Bad Habit #7: Being too close.
>Why it's bad: As much as you think burping, scratching, picking, or farting
>is funny or cute, it can backfire and cross the line. It may be a
>reflection
>of your closeness, but there should be a limit. Otherwise, you're leaving
>your partner with a very unsexy image of you.
>How to stop: Start a new rule. If you wouldn't do it in front of your work
>friends, don't do it in front of your honey. To get your mate to refrain,
>say: "I know we're close, and we can share everything, but I'd really
>appreciate it if you would leave the room, or leave me out, when you do
>that. It's not very sexy, and I don't want anything that makes you less
>sexy
>to me."
>
>Bad Habit #8: Sharing too much with your parents or in-laws.
>Why it's bad: This shows a lack of loyalty to your spouse. Your parents
>shouldn't have any information that your spouse doesn't have. And they
>shouldn't know anything he wouldn't want them to know.
>How to stop: Be loyal to your spouse even when he's not present. If you
>wouldn't say something in front of him/her, don't say it at all. You would
>want the same in return.
>
>Bad Habit #1: Watching TV during dinner.
>Why it's bad: Having dinner together offers valuable face time with your
>partner. Turning on the tube competes for attention and cuts in on your
>time
>to catch up and connect after so many hours spent apart.
>How to stop: Set aside 30 to 45 minutes of one-on-one talk time with the TV
>off every night. This shows your spouse that when you're not at work,
>you're
>devoted to your home and family. During this time, ignore your phone and
>leave the Blackberry in another room. You'll feel closer within days.
>
>Bad Habit #2: Going too long without sex.
>Why it's bad: If the amount of sex you're used to having starts to slide,
>your body and brain can get used to the decreased intimacy, causing you to
>go even longer without wanting that closeness.
>How to stop: Don't wait until you feel like doing it. Initiate sex when
>you're open to doing it, rather than when you have the desire. This will
>jumpstart your feelings so you'll crave it more often.
>
>Bad Habit #3: Going a whole workday without talking to your sweetheart.
>Why it's bad: You'll start growing apart emotionally after subconsciously
>feeling like the other person doesn't think about you (and your needs)
>during the day.
>How to stop: Initiate daily contact by sending a quick "How's your day?"
>email. And make the effort to do something nice every day (pick up his fave
>dessert, call from the store to see if she needs something). It shows
>forethought and consideration for your partner's needs.
>
>Bad Habit #4: Tuning each other out.
>Why it's bad: You're disengaging from each other.
>How to stop: Make an effort to do small things such as kissing before
>saying
>goodbye, making eye contact when talking, complimenting each other
>frequently throughout the week. Does he not seem to hear you talking during
>certain times (ahem, when ESPN is on)? Don't try to make conversation while
>the TV is on. If it's important, press mute; otherwise, save conversations
>for dinner or your bedroom, where you're less likely to be interrupted.
>
>Bad Habit #5: Not fighting.
>Why it's bad: Disagreements are good in a marriage because you're
>expressing
>your individuality. Talking about issues when they first happen makes them
>easier to fix than if you wait until after they've festered.
>How to stop: Bring up what's on your mind in a way that shows your
>admiration and respect for each other's thoughts and feelings. Like, "It
>hurts my feelings when _________. I was hoping we could figure out a new
>way
>to handle the situation together." This will set the tone of the
>conversation as loving and calm, but you both have to compromise to keep it
>that way.
>
>Bad Habit #6: Going out more with friends than with your spouse.
>Why it's bad: Sends the message that your friends are more worthy of your
>time.
>How to stop: Schedule nights out with your crew a few times a month, but
>make sure to let your partner know in advance. It's important to have these
>friendships, just as long as they don't make your married time sparse. And
>it's always best that these friends are people your partner knows and
>trusts, so there's less reason to worry.
>
>Bad Habit #7: Being too close.
>Why it's bad: As much as you think burping, scratching, picking, or farting
>is funny or cute, it can backfire and cross the line. It may be a
>reflection
>of your closeness, but there should be a limit. Otherwise, you're leaving
>your partner with a very unsexy image of you.
>How to stop: Start a new rule. If you wouldn't do it in front of your work
>friends, don't do it in front of your honey. To get your mate to refrain,
>say: "I know we're close, and we can share everything, but I'd really
>appreciate it if you would leave the room, or leave me out, when you do
>that. It's not very sexy, and I don't want anything that makes you less
>sexy
>to me."
>
>Bad Habit #8: Sharing too much with your parents or in-laws.
>Why it's bad: This shows a lack of loyalty to your spouse. Your parents
>shouldn't have any information that your spouse doesn't have. And they
>shouldn't know anything he wouldn't want them to know.
>How to stop: Be loyal to your spouse even when he's not present. If you
>wouldn't say something in front of him/her, don't say it at all. You would
>want the same in return.
__,_._,___
posted by Madhubalan @ 4:53 AM
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